Forward Ahead

I just don’t know what to write. I sit here at the computer letting ideas pop into my mind but nothing really comes out. So I write about the small situation that I’m in. Here goes; I moved back to New York, back to the craziness of the city in order to move on. I said all my good-byes in Connecticut and have no reason to look back only forward. Yeah me. Anyway two weeks into living in a daycare that a friend of mine owns in Brooklyn; yup I’m staying in a daycare, isn’t that a trip, I get back on public assistance ( I need the Medicaid), work for a temp agency in Manhattan, and have interviews for a couple jobs and a internship. Okay so anyone would ponder, where am I going with this?? Truthfully, the right choice. I mean, there have been many of times that I have made the right decisions and oddly enough the wrong decisions. This time I’m sorting things out. The week coming up will be week three and I don’t know if I can last as long as I can. Somebody once told me to stop complaining life gets harder everyday. Really I am not complaining , just sorting myself out. There have been a few goals that I have accomplished like paying off the bank, getting a job even though it is temporary ( I’m not complaining it’s better than no job at all ) and having a little money on my debit card. It’s the little stuff that I am grateful for that I’m glad that I have gotten out the way. The bigger goals like getting my passport, renting a studio, and traveling is what I’m out for. As the week goes by ahead eventually I will have something figured out, the choices may be right ( or wrong), and I will have accomplished one of my major goals as well as the little ones. I’m moving forward without doubts, or regrets, only a clear head. That’s all I have to say.

give it all away

I just don’t know what to write. I sit here at the computer letting ideas pop into my mind but nothing really comes out. So I write about the small situation that I’m in. Here goes; I moved back to New York, back to the craziness of the city in order to move on. I said all my good-byes in Connecticut and have no reason to look back only forward. Yeah me. Anyway two weeks into living in a daycare that a friend of mine owns in Brooklyn; yup I’m staying in a daycare, isn’t that a trip, I get back on public assistance ( I need the Medicaid), work for a temp agency in Manhattan, and have interviews for a couple jobs and a internship. Okay so anyone would ponder, where am I going with this?? Truthfully, the right choice. I mean, there have been many of times that I have made the right decisions and oddly enough the wrong decisions. This time I’m sorting things out. The week coming up will be week three and I don’t know if I can last as long as I can. Somebody once told me to stop complaining life gets harder everyday. Really I am not complaining , just sorting myself out. There have been a few goals that I have accomplished like paying off the bank, getting a job even though it is temporary ( I’m not complaining it’s better than no job at all ) and having a little money on my debit card. It’s the little stuff that I am grateful for that I’m glad that I have gotten out the way. The bigger goals like getting my passport, renting a studio, and traveling is what I’m out for. As the week goes by ahead eventually I will have something figured out, the choices may be right ( or wrong), and I will have accomplished one of my major goals as well as the little ones. I’m moving forward without doubts, or regrets, only a clear head. That’s all I have to say.

Surviving 28

In two more years I'll be 30

I can't stand being 28. I feel so old.

Call me arrogant

What is it with people and those stupid, annoying ringtones? I find it amazing that someone can get excited by having they'er stupid songs on thier stupid cellphones.

Grow up already. I have a cellphone but it's more my anserwing machine (voicemail service is the best invention yet when you don't want to be bothered)then phone.

It's bad enough that I have a job as a telemarketer - I don't need to be bothered with wanted or unwanted calls.

Standing on your head.

Ever wonder what this world might look upside down instead of right side up?? I mean just stand on top of your head and see the world in a whole diffrent way. Question everything and everyone that comes your way like a seven years old questioning it's parents.Switch shoes around, put situations in a rediculous matter and laugh at it "what if" dumbness. Go a head - stand on top of your head and look at others in a diffrent light and realize that nothing is at all what it seems. Pictures are no longer pretty, stars never shine that compeletly bright,food that you once enjoyed never did taste that great,and people who you think you know well you never really did know any better. Everything that people make a big deal of is really not much of a big deal and anything that seem like a life and death situtation is really not much of a shoulder shrug.

So after a good while of standing on top of your head and seeing this world for what it really is then it is okay to stand right back up and go normal. Hmmm....normal.Something you must ask yourself after the blood rushes back to your pretty head and you puke a good one.

4 o' clock in the Apple Store

It's 4 something in the morning and I am creating a post (soliciting at will) here in the Apple store on 60th street and 5th. Truthfully it's pretty much trippy because I can just check my e-mails and be pretty much left alone. Not bad. Yes I have to get up eight o' clock in the morning to catch the van that takes me to work but me wasting time here is really doing me absolutely no good. Do I care?? Well, I'm still standing here at the computer typing this shit out. Trippy. I can go for a Mac Donalds Iced coffee right now. This experience should - who am I kidding??? I need a damn computer so I can write my blogs at home ( whatever I call home. )

Until then - a nicely, well lit, air conditioned, computer store, that is opened 24/7 will eventually have to do.

VIVA LA ROSA!!!!

I need sleep damn it. Im outta here.

Witts End

Isn't it funny how life can show you who you really are. I suddenly relized that over the past two years of being cooped up in New York that I have acctually grown up a bit. Okay I still love my jeans and t-shirts, hate smoking, and go nuts over something that revert me back to my childhood but still.... I grew up in other ways. Yeah Im still looking and going for love ( my emotional door may not be entirely closed to love and happiness - only ajar. Baby steps.) trying to stop ending up in bookstores and coffee shops so I wont isolate myself so much ( can't help it - I'm a goddamn book worm.), and be more productive with my time and try to make new friends ( whereever they may be - or exisit.) and new experiences ( questionable experiences). I don't know much of anything ( really, I look smart but Im as dim as a bulb) but hey thats life. Go with the flow.

I'm really am growing up. ( Did I mention my alteregos that I keep inside my head and skecth book???)

I gotta move out of New York and fast.

Here I am

Well at least you know who I am